HOW A NEWS STORY BECOMES A NEWS STORY

First the story must begin with something that is somewhat plausible.

Fact: A man enters a all night quickie mart in Knoxville, TN and robs it.

Story by tv station and radio: A man wearing a Kevlar vest is cutting a violent path across the mid South.

Fact: A man robs another quickie mart 100 miles due east of Knoxville.

Developing story....a man wearing a kerchief over his face with 2 semi-automatic pistols on a violent crime spree is robbing his way across the mid South and described as being white weighing either 140, 160, 175 pounds wearing either a Kevlar vest or a black sweatshirt and wearing high top sneakers.

Fact: A man robs a store in Kingston, TN at gunpoint.

Developing story...a madman armed with a shoulder mounted rocket launcher and armed with 2 automatic pistols screams across the South taking money at will while wearing a Kevlar vest covered with a Nike sweatshirt, a green bandana, bib overalls and wearing either high top sneakers or red rhinestone high heels.

Fact: A gun toting man robs a store in Marion, VA at 3:30 a.m.

Further developing story......a desperate madman carrying a sack full of ill gotten gain is weaving his way across the South and Northward wearing a Kevlar vest, bibs, sweatshirt, jeans, weighing 210 pounds and either fancy running shoes, Earth Shoes or stylish red pumps in his violent quest to clean out every quickie mart from Tennessee to Canada.

Fact: A truck is stolen along the I81 corridor.

Much more developed story.....a madman bent on the destruction of the South has stolen a truck and possible a pair of really stylish pink strappy high heels.

Fact: At 5 a.m. a state trooper pulls over a truck he believes is a stolen vehicle on Rt. 11 . The driver jumps from the vehicle and runs into the nearby fields. Bloodhounds have been dispatched.

More developing story.....A heavily armed terrorist hired by North Korea is hiding in the cornfields so lock all your doors and windows and for God's sake hide your pumps.

Fact: Traffic on Route 11 is at a standstill due to an on foot search and car to car search PLUS every Yahoo with a police scanner has jumped into their vehicle and headed up there to see for themselves. FarmGuy's boss is stuck in his own driveway and is told to go inside while the search is on.

Further developing story....Women and children need to hide AFTER hiding their stylish shoes and kerchief wardrobes. Secure your doors and windows and don't go into any of your outbuildings as there could be a North Korean white man bent on terrorism hiding there. The madman could weigh anywhere between 110 to 250 pounds and is wearing only the Lord knows what by now.

Fact: The state police have called out search helicopters and police from all local towns are aiding in the foot search for a man.

Developing story....A man or possibly a dozen terrorists dressed funny and walking even funnier are shooting their way out of the cornfields bent on the destruction of the South all the way to Canada.

Fact: A local tv station gets past the police blockade and manages to interview the FarmGuy's boss WHO tells the police he was asleep and didn't hear anything since his dog got killed two years ago. He tells the news reporter that his corn is yellowing and may have to be chopped down and it's possible he may have to restart the crop but he is putting in something else due to the short time left to grow a crop.

Fully developed story as of 2:43 p.m.........Lord who knows who is running amok in the fields and woods here wearing God only knows what bent on doing who knows what to anybody within police scanner territory.

DETAILS AT 5 p.m. I'm not making this up.